my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
