We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Randomize
