If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
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So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
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Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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