I just saw a hot homeless man
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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