good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
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