Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
