Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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