Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Randomize
