Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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