In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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