She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
