it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
now i know why i became what i already was.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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