oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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