I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
