Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
