Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
