Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
