Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
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