this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
