Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
