Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Houston, we have a blender
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
