i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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