i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
