yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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