Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
