I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
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