gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Randomize
