There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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