and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
