omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
You smell like a Billy Joel song
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
