Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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