Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
