i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Randomize
