seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Randomize
