it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
