i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
