a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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