rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
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