i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
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