just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Randomize
