Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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