thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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