i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
