So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
