I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize