I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
