Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
