Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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