Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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