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I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
