Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Randomize
