But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
