It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
