so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
