just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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