Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
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We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
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Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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