i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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