Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
