we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
