so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
