Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
