he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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