Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
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Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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