I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
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