Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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