You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
